There are many possible ways to address this. The control of the Birthaversary time is ultimately in the celebrant’s control. You could ask them if it is okay to include their sibling. Lately, I say that the gesture is beautiful but a Birthaversary celebration is for special 1:1 time. You could discourage this by offering a short activity after the Birthaversary. Remind the sibling that their Birthaversary is upcoming and they will get 1:1 time.

It does not matter. What matters is that you made the child feel important. It may also give you a shared memory of something to look back upon and laugh at.

I reserve the right to leave after 15 minutes. The 15 minutes is a minimum guideline. When the timer goes off, I often say, “ I have a little more time today.” I don’t usually go past 30 minutes.

Three reasons: To give significance to the moment To remember the activity To record their appearance on that day in time

I currently have 8 grandchildren; I do not want to set precedence. If my children want me to stay longer, they can suggest it before the Birthaversary starts. My children are probably happy to see me for 30 minutes but longer than that could/would disrupt routines. I want my visits to be welcomed, not dreaded. For example, ”Oh no. Mom is going to be here for hours and I am just not in the mood for visiting.”

This has happened twice. Three year old: When I said time is up, she said that it wasn’t. Then I tried to reassure her that we would meet again next month. She ran out of the room crying. Within a short amount of time, she stopped crying. Five year old: The Birthaversary was at my house while her mom ran to the store. Her mom returned without warning and crying ensued. She wasn’t done with her coloring and drawing. I asked her if she wanted to take some materials home with her to finish and that calmed her down.

If the Birthaversary celebrant (honoree) is old enough, schedule a phone or Zoom call. If the Birthaversary celebrant is a baby, let it go.

Let it go unless the parent or child asks for a different date. This keeps things simple. Nothing is stopping you from spending time with loved ones on a different date, it is just not called a Birthaversary.

It is up to the child. This happened when I was out of town. We scheduled a Zoom call. I used a puppet to converse and sing songs. Actually, I sang the songs and the sick child pretended to sing. She kept asking me if I heard her. Apparently she wasn’t too sick to tease her granny. When the honoree had enough, goodbye was said, and we were done. The important thing is that a connection was made.

If possible, make it a Zoom call or make an exception and reschedule.

The first thing I do is apologize and ask the child what they would like to do? Recently, when this happened, I got a tour of my grandson’s bedroom. He showed me all his stuffed animals- 51 in all. You can always… Sing songs Go for a walk Cuddle and talk

That completely depends on the age of the child. I started by visiting a local toy store for suggestions and then I gradually introduced those games and activities to the grandchildren.I I love hand and finger puppets for singing and for conversation. I hold, sing, or bathe the babies. I ask the Birthaversary celebrant what they would like to do. I make up dice games or adjust games so they are appropriate for the child’s age.

Usually on Sunday, I call the parents and schedule a time. Then I ask the child what they would like to do. I pack my “Birthaversary15 Bag” (Granny Bag) with the requested materials.

I have been teaching the children how to play various games during their Birthaversary. After several exposures, the children know the rules and have confidence playing those games. When they play with friends, they can now suggest and become the teacher. These games are a means to develop friendships.

Recently, I brought my Birthaversary bag to a soccer practice filled with games. The siblings and parents were sitting on blankets under the trees. A group of us played games and my grandchildren facilitated the directions. When my cousin comes in town we have group puzzle making time and game time. The kids love this because they are confident with those activities from having individual time to get it right. We do a lot of laughing. Parents often do the same activities with their children that were learned during a Birthaversary. Whole families can play. One example is UNO. The grandchildren learned it 1:1 with me and now they play it with others.

I spend at least five weeks each summer with my mother who is in her nineties. When I am out of town, each Birthaversary is held on Zoom. My mother was able to watch her great-grandchildren on-screen offering her a sneak peek at their adorable individual personalities.